Exposed

I am telling you that finding sitters has been a huge issue since we've moved here. Steve and I both liked the idea of in-home sitters. I liked not sending a baby to daycare, and Steve liked that there was little getting kids ready and no shuttling involved. We have interviewed a total of 6 sitters now and the kids have had 8 different women watch them in the time that we have been here, now a few of these women are friends of mine that graciously help out in a pinch (this number, of course, excludes my mom and aunt and Regina). No, we haven't had high turn over, but it is hard to find women who are available part-time on varying days of the week. Most people want a set schedule.
I work full-time in the middle of the night (3 12 hour shifts), so am grateful as far as daycare goes that I only need childcare 3 days a week (the day after when I am finally sleeping), if it's a weekend shift then, of course, they are with daddy. As tax season approaches, more child care is needed in the evenings between the time that I go off for night shift at 6:30 and before Steve gets home from his long work days. Today I interviewed another sitter for the occas eve that Steve and I cannot "tag the other in" in-time.
Let the record show that nothing has been said to me from any sitter, but that somewhere along the line, I have come to feel very exposed and "out there" as these sitters have been to my home. It is our personal space...the only place where I can be myself and my home reflects that. Myself may mean that "darn it, I don't care about my baseboards right now", and "crap, I didn't know that Zac had an accident..no wonder his room smells of pee." It may mean that I had to prioritize and get some sleep instead of steam vac the carpets and scrub those dog paw prints off the tile in the kitchen. Or that I needed to read with Jenna, play the Wii with Zac, or cuddle on my baby instead of organize the tupperware cabinet, clean out the fridge, or vacuum the stairs. Maybe I needed to take a Calgon-type bath after the kids go to bed instead of wipe the walls, and scrub bathroom floors from Zac's "it's my wild pee, mommy". Perhaps I just had to watch a show with Steve instead of dust that filthy fan or catch up on the laundry. Another exposure is that the sitter is acutely aware of my child's behavior..there are no one elses kids here to distract them. Just mine, a product of us and our parenting.
Today a potential sitter came..and I really liked her by the way, but I think that I didn't nail the interview. Back in May it was kinda fun to do the interviews, now it is like, "here's the facts, no fancy pretenses..do you like us or not lady? Will you be nice to my kids and will you be here on time?"...I didn't exactly sell us..and the kids' absolute "energy release" didn't help! Zac is inside the bean bag/love sac (picture Ace Venture and that rhino scene but not naked), Jenna is picking a scab not 2 feet from her. Then the kids are jumping on the furniture! -which has never been allowed, mind you! I am thinking,"Did I not prep you for this visit" "Just be human for 15 minutes" (Trev is an angel..what would I do without him?)
After I send them upstairs and could hear her, I proceed to tell her that I am not a good housekeeper, that the dog is mostly annoying and to just try it a few days until the kids are "adjusted to you coming" (You would think that they never see people! They get soo excited when we have a visitor.) Anyway, I wonder what she thought of the interview. She did say that she nannied 5 kids for 4 years. She is used to chaos, right!?
In the end, she agreed, I hope that she chooses to come and continue to come in the evenings that we need help.
As far as the day-time sitters, one of them recently (after an 8 hour day with all three) said that she just wants Mondays...even if it has nothing to do with me and my precious angels, how can I not interpret that as "your kids wear me out and your baseboards are dreadful".

Oh well, right? as long as they are good to my kids and don't steal anything...maybe one day they will have a family and understand, or maybe they will have it all figured out and can become rich and famous with the books that they write!