Here it is the 20th of January. I am not just now thinking of the new year and resolutions. On the contrary, it has been on my mind. There are so many things that I want to improve upon that it is overwhelming. What a way to start a new Year..anxious and feeling guilty after reflecting on what changes need to be made! Also with tax season fast approaching and remembering the feelings of last year, I wasn't looking forward to the new year really. About two weeks ago my closest friend called and left a message, on the message she said, "...and you can do it. I know you can." For a half second, I thought, "which thing is she talking about?" Perhaps it was my desire to read with the kids daily and help them each do better at school/learning, maybe it was applying the principles of "His Needs, Her Needs" (a book about marriage), or maybe it was about doing better with the way I parent the kids, esp when they are naughty, maybe it was about any number of spiritual/church related things(reading the scriptures, my calling in the Primary, FHE, etc, etc) or it could have been about keeping the house up, or...oh yes, she was talking about my diet!!!
Well 20 days later, I am not so anxious. I have been working on a few changes, but I know that if I overload myself with too much, I am setting myself up for failure..and then I will run to the chocolate, chips and salsa, and irritability will be an unwelcome, extended visitor in the house for sure.
I am hoping that with optimism as my friend, this will be a better year. Last year was a tougher one for Steve and I both, that was tempered with the great blessing and joy of Trevor, the making of new friends, and the closeness of my family. There are so many that suffer from their own illness or the loss of a loved one, even a child or other life altering thing, we are fortunate to all be healthy and intact, but the reality is that there are times when there doesn't have to be a disaster to struggle, it was just one of those times. We are both feeling optimism and a little lighter in our step. We acknowledge a loving Father in heaven and appreciate our blessings and opportunities as well as our agency.
2010 will be great. The prescription is some optimism, resilience, and lots of 2010 will be great. The prescription is some optimism, resilience, and lots of perspective and laughter. Chin up, and smile!
Oh that sweet face, with a dimple to boot. He still has his moments...but growing up. In no time at all he has gone from 2 to 4.5. It's kind of sad that we have spent the better part of his life stressing over his behavior...he is just a little boy afterall. I love you Zac Steven!
