I get the hint!

So Friday, I went to walmart to pick up a few things. I have the 2 little ones with me. Trev is in the back of the cart and Gage is in the car seat riding in the seat part of the basket. I was minding my own business and walking along and saw a very attractive Hispanic woman and her friend walking toward me in the isle. She then stops me and asks me to attend an event 30 minutes away for weight loss and beauty. Hum, "well thank you but we have a Christmas party tonight," but I will be sure to wear a bag over my head. So that was that. Saturday Steve's parents made it possible for us to go out to dinner for Steve's birthday at the Roadhouse. Steve ordered the rib eye, and I ordered a half rack of ribs and baked potato. It was delicious. The waitress comes up all young and chipper and asks if we need a box...we looked at our plates that were very much clean and said no. She peered around my diet cokes and exclaimed. "Wow, I'm impressed!" I think "really!" What kind of dumb waitress are you to cheer for me cleaning my plate! Why would you say that?! It was a HALF rack after all! Monday, Steve strokes my face in concern and tells me I have a black eye and what happened? I didn't have a black eye. It is 10 pm and I have dark circles around my eyes, apparently worse on the left eye!
So, I need my roots done in a desperate way, or at the very least a trim. My clothes fit weird on a lumpy post partum body, and I have been out of Mary Kay concealer for months now!
Sigh, I know that it's not them, it is me! I need a makeover. This is your invitation to put me on What not to Wear, or 10 years younger, or your own "show"! Or you can send a gift certificate for Mary Kay, a terrific salon and weight watchers for 6 months (It's $40 a month now!) Thank you!