The Next baby

I distinctly remember the night before I was induced with Zac: I went into sleeping Jenna's room and craddled her sweet 2 year old face in my hands and just treasuring up that moment. I don't remember thinking that my love for her would be less, it was just a moment that I will never forget. She was my baby and the next day, she would still be my little girl, but there would be another child. I learned after having Zac that the Lord provides enough love in the heart of a mom for her children. There is no division of love, just more is there to give. I love them both very much.
Jenna is growing up, such a great little helper, developing talents and going to school, talking about her teacher and friends and family. When she was little, we would do activities and crafts and go places. When Zac came along, life got a bit more complex, but Jenna was the oldest and got attention and was able to do special things while Zac slept. Steve was good to take her on movie dates and do things alone with her.
In the mean time, Zac is the baby. Very cuddly and loving. Content to be the baby. In fact depending on the day he will insist that he still is little! He will say that he is the baby, other days he insist that he is "big enough" for this or that. Anyway, Zac and I have been paling around while Jenna is at school. I have enjoyed holding his hand at the park and doing things just the 2 of us. I love when I don't feel overwhelmed as a parent and have time for each of them.
I guess I am not sure how to articulate how I feel, emotional again like the nights before Zac came... Hoping that each child will feel of their momma's love. Trusting that each child will know they are important. Hoping that I can find a balance, find the time, and most importantly find a smile when I think that I am failing as a mom. Just like after Zac was born adjustments were made and all was well. Now after this baby comes in the next days or weeks (heaven help us) we will again adjust and Zac will find his place. Jenn too...even me. We'll be ok. In fact, it will be just fine. We are happy to have this next little guy! He will bring a lot of love in our home.